Me: Hi, I'm interested in Road Runner internet service.
The C*nt: O.K. I can get that set up for you.
Me: Great. I've actually had a lot of trouble with your service in the past and before I sign up, I was hoping you could give me some information about the prices and the service options. A few months ago I signed up for Road Runner, but it never worked after the technician left and I didn't have any time to get it fixed, so I cancelled.
The C*nt: Oh. Well, I can give you the Entertainment Package for $96 a month with the service you have right now and Road Runner.
Me: That sounds good, but I just want to make sure it will work for me.
The C*nt: What kind of computer do you have?
Me: I actually want the service for a Mac and a PC. Can I use them both on the same modem?
The C*nt: Let me put you on hold while I research that...Hello? O.K., yeah, you will need two modems for two computers. That will be an extra $44.95 a month.
Me: WHAT?
The C*nt: You could do wireless internet, but that's not compatible with a Mac.
Me: What?
The C*nt: Well, you could leave your Mac in one place. Is it a laptop?
Me: Yes, both of the computers are laptops.
The C*nt: Well, you wouldn't be able to move the Mac around. It would have to be hardwired to the modem.
Me: WHAT? What's the point of having a laptop? Are you talking about it being connected to the modem by a cable?
The C*nt: No, it would have to be hardwired to the modem.
Me: WHAT? You mean they're going to attach the modem to my computer with screws?
The C*nt: No, I told you already it would be connected through a wire.
Me: No, you said 'hardwired.' When I asked whether that mean a cable, you said no.
The C*nt: So, I have an appointment for Thursday the 17th. Do you want it?
Me: No, I don't think I can do this right now.
The C*nt: Have I answered all your questions today?
Me: No, you haven't. I am more confused than when I called. Can I talk to someone from your tech department?
The C*nt: No. That can't be done. It's not compatible with Mac.
Me: You have the worst service in the world.
The C*nt: O.K. Bye, bye now.
[In a truly sexist move, I called back later until I got a male on the phone. He and I totally got all my questions answered, and he totally took care of everything and even gave me a plan cheaper than that cunt offered.]