Less Anxiety, Please?

For the past six months or so, Dallas and I have been telling each other that it will be a snap for me to find a job once the bar results are in, and I think there have been times when I've really believed this, but for the most part, I've felt a sickening dread that maybe I won't find a job. Ever. Then what? Writing as a career? Modeling? Culinary school? Oh, I know, I can be a teacher! This train of thought went so far that several days before the bar exam results came out, Dallas and I, both expert negotiators (hey, we even TAed a course in negotiation at the same time, only for different professors), agreed that if I didn't pass the bar, then I could become a teacher. Dallas has never had any doubt I would pass the bar exam, and knew this to be a safe deal to make. Dallas, you see, isn't the biggest fan of any job that I might take that isn't legal, as he feels like this closes off any future career I might want that is law-related. While I completely agree with his reasoning, there always comes a point when you have to question the veracity of your current path, because things are not coming easily. I don't mean not coming easily, like you interview for three jobs and none of the three will have you. I mean a prolonged job search punctuated by rejection and the well-wishes of the rejectors who seemed delighted enough with your qualifications, but really had someone more senior in mind, or someone who had already passed the bar. You see how a girl could get discouraged. At the point when bar passage was imminent, I began sending out resumes again, en masse. I've applied for somewhere in the ballpark of 50 positions, and this week, along with a few polite letters of immediate rejection, I've gotten a couple of interviews as well. I am beginning to trust that I will, indeed, have a job, and soon. Am I sleeping any better at night? Not really. Instead of being kept awake by the anxiety of not having any prospects, I am now wide awake with excitement over the imminent possibilities and going back to work. It seems, as Dallas has known all along, I really like being a lawyer and am getting excited about being able to do it again. Life is good, or it will be very soon.

Comments

[B]

I just wanted you to know that when I read the above phrase: "Dallas, you see, isn't the biggest fan of any job that I might take that isn't legal..." I was wondering if this meant that you were contemplated becoming a felon in some sense (via drug trafficking, prostitution, who knows?!), but I then I realized you mean job that isn't involving practicing the field of law, ie lawyering.

For those other blog readers among us who may get the wrong idea, I suggest you edit your text or at least include a joke referencing its alternative meaning as it currently stands.

PS Good luck on the job hunt!

[Enigmatic Female]

Ha! But, you see, Dallas wouldn't be a fan of an illegal job, either, so I'll let it stand. I like that it has 2 meanings. I guess I should have written that Dallas isn't the biggest fan of any job I might take that isn't in the legal field, but prostitution might be more glamorous (no jokes from other lawyers about how working for a firm is essentially the same thing). I mean, I saw Pretty Woman. Richard Gere is hot! And I could use a shopping spree on Rodeo Drive.